Exclusive Twilight New Moon Photos

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CelebJihad has just received these exclusive Twilight New Moon promotional photos, and we could not wait to share them with our fellow “Twihards”. Since no one has seen the movie yet, and I am probably the biggest Twihard in the world I will be providing captions for each photo describing what is going on in the scene pictured.

 


robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
Angry that her Dad missed her ballet recital when she was 7, Bella seeks out the town’s black man and his “low hanging fruit” for comfort.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
In the movie’s only scat scene. Edward smears feces on Bella’s face.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
Bella is badly injured after trying to redecorate a gay man’s condo.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
The cast relaxing before the movie’s big orgy scene.

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After a night of drinking Mad Dog 20/20 Bella gives Jacob a handjob in his truck.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
Bella farts in a crowded movie theater.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
Bella about to be gang banged by a group of shirtless Mexicans.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
Jacob flirts with Bella to make his crush Edward jealous.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
Bella’s friend explains to her the joys of anal love making.

robert-pattinson, kristen-stewart, celeb-jihad
Bella’s dad gives her a picture of his balls and a 1st edition copy of the classic novel “Lolita” for her sweet 16th birthday.